Across Continents

Ken's Blog

Rocket science

January 9th, 2012

It was a German, explained Doris, who’d got men to the moon. She seemed very proud of this. First generation German-American. Yes, I said, von Braun. He’d surrendered to US Forces at the end of World War Two. Adding I didn’t blame him. The alternative years in a Russian Gulag or put to work for the Soviet military machine. If you’re lucky rewarded with your own Trabant and an extra bowl or two of borscht.

But not a man, I explained, popular back in England. Something to do with dropping V-2 rockets onto London. Not the sort of thing that’d exactly endear you to local residents. Probably the same reason Bomber Harris never got Christmas Cards from Dresden. Funny thing was more people had died building the missiles than had ever been killed on the ground.

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Much reviled

January 7th, 2012

Teasing e-mail from Mike in Australia. I’d stayed with him and his family near Brisbane. The title referred to a much reviled continent. Punctuated with an exclamation mark, suggesting he realised my not infrequent sharp digs Down Under were humour. Mostly. Perhaps a little barbed in places, but that’d be the fault of a brief and wholly unwarranted detention by Border Protection at Sydney airport. My nervousness at opening the note was misplaced. Little annoyed with myself for thinking it might be otherwise. Should have known better. Fellow Englishman.

I’d earlier chatted to a couple of Australians staying with me in the hostel. Finding unexpected camaraderie in tales of blatant profiteering. Sheer greed. And indigenous cultures. Firm agreement that being invaded – the Aborigines often refer to Australia Day as Invasion Day - is part and parcel of history. Get over it. Besides, without it, they’d still be living in the Stone Age. None of us having as much as a modicum of tolerance for blame cultures or blood money. You don’t find me rounding on the French for 1066. Too busy with the Germans.

I’d added that writing, sometimes even discussing, indigenous people can be fraught with difficulty. It’s the ’R’ word, I explained. More a label. One you don’t want. Closely allied with oft-missed irony. For never have I encountered such a bigot-rich environment as race relations. Surprising? Not really. What do you really expect from the likes of positive discrimination? Much better to treat people as individuals. Even garlic munchers.

And those who play the racism card? In tolerant societies usually the hallmark of someone who has to rely on ill-judged emotion to attempt to win an argument, rather than sound intellect or rational thought. Bit like shouting. Vocal manifestation of cowardice.

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Looking for Lance

January 7th, 2012

Actually I wasn’t. Just happened to notice an Austin street map showing the Lance Armstrong Bike Trail. His home town apparently. Told there’s also a bike shop. No plans to visit. Suspect it’s more for the Size Zeros. Whereas my trusty steed’s a more busty lass. Wide child bearing hips and that. With the panniers fitted.

If anything had intrigued me, it was the Texas State Capitol building. I’d noticed it in the teeming rain as I’d ridden in on Christmas Eve as I’d headed up Congress Avenue before swinging right onto 7th Avenue. Reminded me of Capitol Hill in Washington DC.

And it presumably meant that I’d at last found a State Capital I’d heard of. Most are surprisingly unfamiliar. Take Alaska. Anchorage, the State’s biggest city? No. Juneau. Hats off to anyone who can name all fifty without omission.

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Semi-spontaneous irregularity

January 5th, 2012

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Semi-spontaneous irregularity.. Drink kumus - fermented mare’s milk – and you’ll get the same effect. Incidentally, didn’t think you could milk a horse, or at least the Sexual Offences Act 1956 precluded it. Enough to put you right off Cappuccino…

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Snowy desert

December 24th, 2011

Ken still struggles with the concept of snow in deserts. But not erectile dysfunction. Despite the wind chill…

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Knobbly knees

December 23rd, 2011

Ken waxes lyrical about making mistakes. Pity he’d not done the same to his legs…

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Australian exodus

December 20th, 2011

Wondered if I’d been a bit harsh. My barely concealed angst at being asked if I was Australian. But then there’d been a piece on the BBC website entitled "Why we quit Australia for the UK". Their reasons resonating with my own observations. Difficulties buying "groceries past 6pm". "I found them friendly (especially when you were buying stuff from them) but they don’t want to be your friend". "Nightmare of rules and regulations". "Cost of living…. scandalous".

Party time

To be fair, some of the reasons given reflect more on poor homework by those immigrating to Australia. For which I’ve little sympathy. Or simple home-sickness. But the underlying theme is very supportive of my own observations. Reassuring. Incidentally, if you do think I’m rounding a bit on Australia, then perhaps I am. But then detaining me – quite unreasonably - on my return to Sydney from New Zealand and there’s bound to be consequences…. Of course, Customs and Border Protection will no doubt have their excuses. Those sorts of people usually do.

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Muggles

December 16th, 2011

More Harry Potter than Eighties recording artist I’d suggested. My Dad had thought Muggles had been behind Eighties hit "Video killed the radio star". Close though. The track playing in the background of the diner where I’d joined my parents for dinner.

I’d made it through the mountains from Superior to Globe to meet up with them once more. There’d been a tunnel. Explaining tackling it was a bit like err well, you know. All in the timing. And the reality usually a bit of a let down. Less dramatic than what you might anticipate. No dead dogs or pot holes to contend with. And there were lights, of sorts.

We’d both chosen the same omelette. But then told by our server it wasn’t available, strictly a breakfast option. Only to eventually plump for the same filled croissant. I was sure I’d decided first.

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Rude and amusing

December 14th, 2011

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Just knew Mike from Norfolk, who, incidentally, is the owner of Wallace the Wallaby for his previous witticisms, would come up trumps. This has Caption Competition written all over it. So, a couple of his suggestions:

“It all started when Hiawatha came to bathe nearby”

“I went to see the Doctor and he just said I was a big prick”

There were other suggestions, I hasten to add not from Mike, but they washed over my innocence. Something to do with batteries…

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Points of interest

December 8th, 2011

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In the small dusty town of Ocotillo, edge of Yuha Desert, Southern California. Emphasis on small…

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