Across Continents

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Bear deterrent

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Small print. "Not for use on humans". Probably a wise addition as people have been known to confuse bear deterrent for bear repellant. A few incidences of parents spraying their children with it in the mistaken belief it would offer them protection from Goldilocks and her friends. Bit like insect repellant or sunblock. You’d hope the unfortunate offspring would be exempt the naughty step for a while… once discharged from hospital.

I’d bought a canister of bear spray – it ressembles a small fire extinguisher – and a holster to carry it in. Bear attacks are rare, but when they do occur there may be little warning. Best kept readily to hand. But not my first choice of deterrent. That’d be an RPG, closely followed by phosphor grenades, largely because I reckon the cuddly critters probably aren’t that fire retardent.

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Incidentally, it’s a Federal offence to use the spray on anything other than bears. Unless you at least have an honest belief that’s what you’re doing. So, if you’ve any plans to try and mug me, please remember I’m a bit short sighted. Easily confused, especially without my glasses on. Mistaking attackers for one of our furry friends a very real possibility. Despite treating the spray with the same caution as I would a firearm, in a land where guns are plentiful, I’ve absolutely no compunction about deploying it. Not a jot.

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